On the threshold of high school: application processes, decisions, and a disappearing childhood

I have been debating on and off whether I should write this post.

The struggle is so real to me that I have to physically hold myself back from letting it get the best of me because if I do that, the push back may be permanent. And I can’t let that happen – kids need support in ways that wasn’t prevalent in my day. And it’s not just the internet, there are other things going on. Things that didn’t seem to be so up front and in your face in my day the way they are today.

But at the same time, I also question the sanity of this society at times. How is it we push kids onto career paths earlier and earlier with every generation?

I was talking with my chiropractor a few weeks ago whose daughter is the same age as my son; both are in grade 8 and visiting high school open houses to determine the next step. His words resonate loud and clear in my head:

“They’re only 13, they’re still children.” Continue reading

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Girl week, family connections and solo parenting

Last summer I got to spend a few quality days by myself when the kids went camping with their dad.

This was crucial to my mental health. It was like a recharge of my batteries.

Last summer I also got to spend an entire weekend alone with my boy, at a baseball tournament. We slept over in a college residence, ate some meals together, traveled in the car together. There wasn’t much time for bonding beyond those times since they played three games in one day, and one the night before and two the day after, but we were on our own, which is what I’m getting at.

This was good for me and hopefully just as good for my teen boy. Especially because these times are few and far between lately…

Well this week it’s girl’s week. 😍 The boys took off into the deep Canadian bush to hunt moose, so it’s just the girl child and me. For four full days. Continue reading

What I say, what they hear

It has occurred to me that what I say and what kids hear is not the same.

Surprise! I bet you didn’t know that… 😉

It appears to me that they have different interpretations of my spoken word. A brief conversation with a grade 8 teacher on a non-related matter, over email, tells me I am not alone. Ha.

I don’t get it though. I think I’m very clear when I speak… 🙃

Continue reading

When independent people become dependent

What is it about being a mom that makes us want to be self-sufficient and independent in every aspect and not ask for help?

My independence is crucial to my mental health.

There are times however when help is desired, or required. During illness, injury or maybe a broken car for example. We all know what it’s like to be pulled into different directions at the same time and having to rise above somehow.

Being able to control one’s schedule or plan, having all the ducks in a row so to speak, this is how I function. Waiting for others to contribute without instruction or direction doesn’t always work out in the desired outcome. Intuition plays a part here. Understanding habitual behaviour, especially about others, is important, as is knowing another person well and understanding their thinking, their limitations. It comes down to one crucial element in relationships: Continue reading

Competitive behaviour in boys and girls, or brothers and sisters

Yesterday I accidentally dropped a guinea pig into his cage where he landed on a rock.

Head first.

Granted, there was hay on the rock, and the fall wasn’t that far, just a few inches, but still.

Hope he doesn’t have a piggie concussion. (He’s fine, I checked twice and again this morning.)

It’s his fault anyway; why would he leap out if my arms like that? He appeared to enjoy the snuggle just a minute earlier….

Speaking of concussion, the kids went for a baseline test last week. And naturally, us being us, there had to be an adventure…  😂 Continue reading

Family life: about control and happiness – part 1

It is my unsolicited opinion that there is a direct link between control and happiness.

But it’s more complicated than that. Because control is a loaded word that requires further analysis.

So does happiness.

I’m going to make this a 2-part series because otherwise, confusion will abound… 😂

Let’s start with control. Continue reading