So last night I slept all alone in the house.
It took me almost two weeks just to get into summer vacation mode.
The first week I was still analyzing, preparing, organizing and dealing with every little minutiae that is part of raising a busy family. But like so many moms, I am downright exhausted by said minutiae. I hoped to let go of some, if not most of it, for part of the summer, but I am not wired to live like that. Sure I can turn a blind eye to some of the chaos (occasionally) or force a kid to clean up some mess, but as this article demonstrates, delegating is just another job for me:
Ah, yes, the “Just tell me what to do!” defence—like nails on a chalkboard to female household managers everywhere. The idea of deputing tasks or asking for help implies you’re still the one running the show. Delegating is just another bloody job. (Lauren Ballem)
I even wanted to stop the delegating.
The van was full, the kids were happy, and their little surprise lunchboxes, which they were instructed not to open until they were on the highway, were stowed carefully within reach by their seats.
I stood on the porch in my nightgown and waved goodbye. Hugs and kisses were exchanged numerous times before, and all I had to do now was wave.
“Bye bye!” they yelled. “Miss you already!” they screeched.
I returned inside to fill a watering can for my drooping flowers on the front porch. While I waited for it to fill I contemplated if I should colour my hair this morning, or go to the salon tomorrow.
Today is a holiday in Canada, the second last long weekend of summer.
I’ll stay home, I said to myself. Make coffee, write, putter around. Wash the grey outa my hair.
I took my watering can to the front porch and just as I emptied it, the van pulled back into the driveway.