I read a bit of a heartbreaking post the other day and reflected on his words for some time after.
Then, I tried to turn this into an opportunity to reflect on my own current state of mind. Am I spending too much time inside my own head?
I am my own worst enemy.
I go up and down and sideways with my internal turmoil that it mostly leaves me mentally exhausted rather than inspired, or focused on the here and now.
I needed to get outside. Like Sam reminded me in his last post, being out of doors is a welcoming respite.
Yesterday, I biked out into the lake 🚴 . I mean, not into the water 🙃, that would be cold and wet 🌊, but out into the little panhandle thingy that marks the entrance of the marina, still void of boats. Toronto is experiencing a late spring awakening this year, but the boats aren’t traditionally crane-lifted into the water until the end of April which is this upcoming weekend, probably. Instead, I saw a heron and evidence from beavers in the relatively still and empty bay that soon will bustle with rich people drinking cocktails on their yachts. 🍹🍸
Note: we are neither rich nor owners of a yacht. We don’t even own a dingy. 😂
Funny side story: years ago we pushed a baby stroller while walking our dog near the marina when we came upon a huge yacht for sale. It had a name painted on its side as is standard practice for boats. The yacht’s name was Alimony. Ha. 😜
While on the bike wishing the sun was out but simultaneously thanking the rain gods for keeping the flood gates closed a while longer, I was once again reflecting on just how much of an introvert I really am.
But I wasn’t really alone. Partly because I noticed other loners wandering around, mostly with dogs on leashes or giant cameras around their necks (that would be the bird watchers and nature seekers).
I also saw quite a few seniors, really old couples, walking around the grounds. One couple must have been at least 80 and they were walking hand in hand…
I took a few pictures and short clips of my surroundings while marveling at the vastness that is Lake Ontario. There is no horizon, just like an ocean, that’s how enormous that lake is. (Of course there is an actual shore at the other end, called America, you just can’t see it.)
It’s hard to explain how I was feeling. But I’ll try:
- Exhilarated because I was out in the fresh air getting exercise
- Relieved to be alone for a short while after a long weekend of nonstop family time with too much food and noise
- Worried the rain will start before I get home
- Wishing my cycling friend was here
- Longing for coffee (lol)
After I biked home, the rain started. Literally the moment I stepped into the house. Perfect timing. 🙂
The rest of the day was spent sharing some of my clips with a friend, answering scheduling emails, and putting a dent in the laundry saga. I will have to continue laundry today – I took down the spring and summer clothing from the attic, some of which needs washing, so there’s double the amount sitting on the floor in bags and bins as usual.
What I did not get to was the rest of the teamsnap scheduling (kids’ baseball activities), and cooking. Because in the middle of making my casseroles I realized we’re out of pasta (we’re never out of pasta…) and I had to go to the store. Where I promptly bought, and ate in the car, an ice cream bar. Ha.
Then, the teen, whom I offered to pick up because I was already picking up the other kid, didn’t come because the teacher kept him back for something. Turns out he had his first ever hour-long detention. I sure hope this is the only detention in the remaining few months of grade 8 or else, that PS4 will be making its way up into the attic…
Finally, we left for a school meeting while allowing the troublesome teen to stay home with expectations that he clean the entire kitchen, before watching terrible NHL hockey which caused me to drink red wine 🍷🍷. I type this with a headache caused by the aforementioned wine while on my second cup of coffee so far this morning ☕ .
I am also yearning for an Advil.
And so we reach Hump Day. 🙂 How are you managing to get through your week?